Ready to get married?

Are you ready to get married? Keep reading and find out.  You can answer this question at the end of the article.

 

The Desire for Marriage is from God

Most people have a desire to find that one, significant other they can grow old with. Christians, especially, understand the desire, need, and significance of marriage. If you feel that longing in your heart to get married – good!  God ordained marriage in the creation account.  It’s the first institution, and it was the remedy for the first imperfection God noticed in His very good creation.

And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

Marriage was established from the very beginning of humanity, before the fall.  The desire for marriage is a product of God’s design and plan. It is not good that man should be alone.  There is something wrong about a man being without a wife.  I didn’t say it, God did!

You were created for marriage!  If you feel that desire, you are on the right path!

 

Weigh the Costs

Next, you should weigh the costs of marriage.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:28-33

Jesus insisted that those who want to be His disciple must be willing to forsake all of their rights, possessions, and even relationships.  He tells the would-be disciples to consider the costs before making a rash decision to follow Him.

Their are costs to be considered before getting married as well.  Such costs include being willing to forsake rights, possessions, and even relationships.  Consider the following instructions for wives and husbands from the Bible.

Husbands:

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; Ephesians 5:23

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  Ephesians 5:25

sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, Ephesians 5:26

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:28

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Ephesians 5:29

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, Ephesians 5:33

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

The heart of her husband safely trusts her; Proverbs 31:11

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, 1 Corinthians 7:3

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. …. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5

And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:11

If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 1 Corinthians 7:12

Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Colossians 3:19

Wives:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:24

and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 1 Peter 3:1,2

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Peter 3:3-6

and likewise also the wife [render] to her husband [the affection due him]. 1 Corinthians 7:3

the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5

A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:10,11

And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 7:13

wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. 1 Timothy 3:11

Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church. 1 Corinthians 14:34,35 (This verse is not a general rule that women can’t speak in church. Taken in context, this verse shows there is an order that must be followed, by both men and women, when it comes to prophesying and praying in church.  This verse is about order and women being under the authority of their husbands.)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18

to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:4,5

And my own paraphrase of Proverbs 31:10-31: does her husband good and not evil; willingly works with her hands; brings food from afar; rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household; uses the family’s resources to increase their resources; stays up late taking care of business; gives to the poor and needy; clothes herself with strength and honor; makes money for her family however she can; speaks wisdom and kindness is on her tongue; watches over the ways of her household; is not idle; fears the LORD.

 

Are you ready and willing to live in obedience to these instructions from God’s Word?  Or are the costs too high?  Man, are you ready and able to lead your wife, take complete responsibility for her – physically, emotionally, spiritually -, and love her in the same sacrificial and sanctifying way Jesus loves the church?  Woman, are you ready to submit to your husband’s leadership, obey him as you would the Lord, respect him – even when he doesn’t deserve it -, and be a homemaker?  These are the verses to consider before entering into marriage. 

Another cost to consider: marriage is a covenant unto the death of one spouse.  Go into marriage knowing that this will be the first and last person you will ever marry, unless they die before you.  For more on this subject, see Let No Man Separate: Why Christians Should Not Divorce, John the Baptist on remarriage after divorce, and Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper.

 

 A New Assignment

Finally, if you proceed with getting married, realize that you will be getting a new assignment.  Before marriage, your assignment is quite different from your marriage assignment.  Once married, your assignment becomes this:

For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.  “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:30-33

The real purpose of marriage, the glorious idea God instituted at creation, was a physical representation in the present age of the glorious reality of the union of Jesus Christ and His church, which has started, but will come to fulfillment in the age to come, at His return.

Once married, the man and wife have a higher calling than they had before. Former assignments come to an end, because the two are now one.  The married couple is now responsible for representing to the world that relationship which Jesus has with His church.  Every word and deed from husband to wife and wife to husband serves as an example, a metaphor, an allegory, to reveal the mystery of Christ and the church. That’s why the husband becomes the head – though he feels quite inadequate to lead.  And that’s why the wife is called to submit – though she knows she is quite capable of leading!  Each assumes a new identity, one in which he/she must rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom and grace!  Both will fail, probably daily, but they must press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).  Each married couple has a vision statement written for them: reveal the mystery of Jesus and the church to everyone you know, by the way you live, love, speak to, and treat each other.  When the honeymoon ends, this is the vision that must be declared, remembered, and brought into focus, again and again, as months turn into years, and years turn into decades.

 

So, are you ready to get married?