Written by I pleaded with a friend of mine, who once worked with me in ministry, to stop cheating on her husband and not to divorce him. Basically, she felt he had been a jerk to her for years and was addicted to porn, and this is how she justified divorcing him for another man. In defending her decision for divorce, she used the encounter of Jesus with the woman at the well, reasoning that He forgave that woman’s five divorces and remarriages, and so He would forgive this one too. This article intends to examine that well-known encounter between Jesus and the woman at the well to see what clues Jesus gave us about how He really feels about divorce and remarriage.
Let’s look closely at what Jesus said.
He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.” John 4:16-18
He said call your husband, and she replied, “I have (Strong’s G2192) no husband.” Jesus told her she was correct. He went on to let her know what He knew: “you have had (Strong’s G2192) five husbands,…” . The word translated “you have had” in “you have had five husbands” is also Strong’s G2192. The Greek word is ἔχω (echo), and it is found 712 times in the KJV translation; 613 times it is translated as “have.” It is sometimes translated “has” (Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has [presently] something against you, Matthew 5:23) or “having” (“For he taught them as one having [presently] authority, and not as the scribes. Matthew 7:29).
She was living with a man she was not married to. Jesus could have pointed out that one transgression, and that would have been enough. So why do we have recorded for all time in God’s Word, which was prese rved for us today, that He did also point out she was married to five men before this one she was living with.
We need to know whether Jesus was saying “you had five husbands in the past, but not any longer” or “you presently have five husbands now.” When we look more closely at the tense of the verb in this instance, we find out it is aorist. According to Blue Letter Bible, “The aorist tense is characterized by its emphasis on punctiliar action; that is, the concept of the verb is considered without regard for past, present, or future time. There is no direct or clear English equivalent for this tense ….”
In the KJV, the phrase “you have had” is translated “thou hast had.” For help in determining how we should consider Jesus was using the phrase, let’s look at some other places it is used:
Because thou hast had (Strong’s G2192) a perpetual hatred … (Ezekiel 35:5)
The hatred happened in the past, but it continued perpetually. (KJV)
… against which thou hast had (Strong’s G2192) indignation these threescore and ten years? (Zechariah 1:12)
The indignation happened in the past but continued over 70 years.
In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had (Strong’s G2192) no pleasure. (Hebrews 10:6)
Here used in the negative, the verb shows God continually had no pleasure in the burnt offerings and sacrifices. He never had pleasure, though they occurred over and over.
Beloved, I am not writing a new commandment to you, but an old commandment which you have had (Strong’s G2192) from the beginning; the old commandment is the word which you have heard.
They received a commandment at some point in the past and kept it.
By examining how the Greek word ἔχω (echo) is translated and used in other verses, we see that Jesus could have been telling the woman:
“You are right. You don’t have a husband. Because you have five husbands!”
This interpretation would be in keeping with Jesus’ teaching that God joins a husband and wife together as one flesh that no person can separate. This also fits with Paul’s teaching that, as long as both spouses live, they remain married in God’s eyes, and remarriage would be adultery.
Marriage is a life-long joining together of a man and a woman. It is more than a vow. It is more than a covenant. Jesus pointed to this when asked if remarriage after divorce is permissible. He said the two become one flesh, and what God has joined together, no man can separate. How can man undo anything God has done?
Unfortunately, the people who translated the Greek into English have decided to stick with the “you have had” language that leaves some ambiguity in whether her divorces ended the marriages or not. Certainly, this interpretation would have benefited those who hold the view that there are legitimate exceptions that allow for divorce and remarriage (a certain King of England comes to mind). Regardless, we can be sure that remarriage after divorce defiles a person in God’s sight (Deuteronomy 24:4).
Jesus said those who divorce and remarry commit adultery. Why? Because they remain one flesh with the first person they married. Remarriage after divorce is adultery, without exception. For more on this, and for Bible verses denying the so-called “exceptions” that are being taught in error in many churches today, see John the Baptist on remarriage after divorce; Let No Man Separate: Why Christians Should Not Divorce; and Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper.
According to what Jesus tells us in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, she committed adultery the first time she divorced and married husband number two. And, He pointed out that she was married now to five men (apparently each marriage was valid in Jesus’ view, though the last four were defiling relationships.)
The good news is Jesus loved the woman at the well! He talked to her, when no other Jewish man would. And He offered her the water of life – the free gift of salvation – and called out her sin so she could recognize it, repent, and be saved. He helped her see the full extent of her spiritual dryness, as He offered her eternity with Him. What a wonderful, merciful God!
It’s time to abandon our man-made traditions that allow Christians to divorce and not work through their problems. If God can create the whole of heaven and earth, He can save a marriage. If God can heal a body, He can heal the wounded hearts of a broken marriage. If God can turn a murderous persecutor into an apostle, He can turn a porn-addicted jerk into husband-of-the-year.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are already divorced and remarried, I urge you to recognize it as the sin of adultery. You can walk out repentance in whatever way the Lord leads you. One honoring way is to confess, with your current spouse, to your church leadership and ask if the two of you can publically acknowledge your sin before the entire congregation and ask for their forgiveness. Also, the Bible has qualifications for those who would serve the church as elders and deacons that include being married to only one person, and remarriage, as long as your former spouse lives, would disqualify you from those positions. It would be honoring to God to follow His Word and not accept an elder or deacon position, or to step down from that position if you are already serving in it. You can help educate other Christians with this truth so that others do not fall into the same error. And you can support and share the ministry of STAY MARRIED. in our effort to end divorce in the church in one generation.
STAY MARRIED. 